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Lowest LowLeslie R.
vUsing crystal meth is the worst thing I have ever done, and continues to haunt me today, even with two years clean...READ MORE
I could hear him talking to himself14 yrs old, Female
I was at least 11 when my brother became the exact opposite of himself. My brother was popular, but for all the right things.READ MORE
Just This Once15 Yrs old, Female
Ignite the flame,
and light it up.
You suck it in,
your mind erupts.
my name is crystal meth...Solomon A.
hi, nice to meet you said the angel of death- in case you wondered my name is crystal meth...READ MORE
2 years and it was all gone...Sollywood A.
Thats all it took--2 years of her doing meth, and everything that we had- our house (foreclosed), 2 brand new cars (repossesed), $62,328 in the bank (spent)...READ MORE
My cousin showed me a meth glass pipe, then she started telling me about all these things about it...READ MORE
No Love From My MomChristina M.
My mom was on meth and other drugs ever since I was 4 years old...READ MORE
What next...Bel K.
I began using out of curiousity. My boyfriend,his friends and their girlfriends all did it.I was the only one who didnt...READ MORE
I Didn't Even KnowOlivia M.
In January I heard the news. He had died. He had been in recovery for a meth addiction, relapsed, and died...READ MORE
Using crystal meth is the worst thing I have ever done, and continues to haunt me today, even with two years clean. I started using meth about five years ago, and I immediately got hooked. It didn't seem like a big deal at first, but the high lasted so long, I just ran with it. A man I had met ended up feeding me dope for a few days, and after that I couldn't stop. I had dropped down in weight, from 110 lbs, to about 92 lbs, and even reached 87 lbs at one point. I immediately began to hear voices the longer I stayed awake, and malnourished myself. The voices began to get worse, and I spiraled downward quickly. The years following that first hit were nothing but going in and out of jail, and rehabilitation centers; growing farther apart from my family, and friends, even to the point of my father calling the police on me, and filing a restraining order. I have been in a car accident, at my fault, severely injuring a young lady on her way to work. Passing out at stop lights, falling asleep with a torch lit in the house, talking to my car headlight in a blackout, talking to bushes, walking for days, walking for nights, sleeping from car to car, house to house, stealing, lying, breaking into cars, breaking into homes, being put in awkward situations with strange men, being raped, in fear of disease, not able to speak properly to people, not able to be a normal, functioning member of society. The one thing meth has lead me to, the one thing I regret most, is the involvement in severe crime, that most people would not get involved with. Very criminal behaviors, with very criminal people. If you knew me before meth, and if you know me now, you would never think that I would do, or have done some of the things that happened. It is all for the drug. It is all consuming, and destroys life. The one thing I am grateful for, is the experience; is what I have learned; is for the chance to start again, re-gain my life back, and strive for the one I wish to attain. With two years clean, I still am hearing very distinct voices, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I still see shadows on occasion, and sometimes mistake one thing for another, because my mind is damaged from meth use. My jaw is out of sorts, and I have TMJ. It moves back and forth when I talk, especially if I drink a caffeinated beverage. Anyway, this is all I will say. Thank you for working against this horrible drug, and for getting this info out in the open.
I could hear him talking to himself
14 yrs old, Female
I was at least 11 when my brother became the exact opposite of himself. My brother was popular, but for all the right things. He wasn't the "druggie" that everyone feared. He was the all-star of the school. But, now, he's that dropout, that kid who no longer has his REAL friends, all because of meth. He would be out every night, and he'd come home at 3 a.m. or later. I thought it was just normal teenage behavior, then, things got worse. His temper rose. There was a constant argument, I never knew what was going on. I would cry, up in my room, every day they would argue. I could see the pain in my mom's eyes. I could feel the frustration. Some nights, I could hear him talking to himself. It was like this for months.
Then one day, he was gone. I came home from school, he threw me in my room. He was frantically walking back and forth, my mom was walking in the door, and then it slammed, and the yelling began. I remember my mom screaming, "You're not leaving! You can't do this!" My brother just threw things around. The meth, it was just taking control of him. For about an hour they argued, and then.. dead silence. I ran downstairs my mom was curled up in a ball crying. I asked where he was, and she just said, "he's gone" I just stood there frozen.
He eventually came back, home, but the problems continued.. but only till he was 18, then he moved out, thinking he was ready for the world. He wasn't ready, he was ready for the meth. The drugs.
About half a year later, things got so bad, even he realized it. He asked my mom for help. My brother wanted to see a doctor, and so we took him. He was put on medication, to help him keep sane. Now about two years later, my brother is getting back on his feet, he's becoming a man. Drugs are no longer his deal. Although they should have never really been. Meth is a drug, it's a lifestyle...that no one should ever choose to live.
Just This Once
15 Yrs old, Female
Ignite the flame,
and light it up.
You suck it in,
your mind erupts.
Body has lightened,
eyes getting wider.
This trip is a coaster,
you're the front-row rider.
Feeling the bass.
Oh, wait. That's your heart.
You'd never expect
that it's only the start.
Your senses are sharper,
in addition to motion.
"This couldn't be right."
Hey, that's all just a notion.
Aggression is deepened,
withal emotions grow bold.
You're losing control,
you're losing your hold.
This is all unexpected.
They said it was but pure.
The monster still caught me,
it was not but a lure.
Sanity once possessed,
it was gone with the wind.
My life as I knew it,
reached a rather blunt end.
We think, "Just this once,"
and it becomes a grand lie.
A lifetime hunting more,
we're just waiting to die.
I could hear him talking to himself
14 yrs old, Female
hi, nice to meet you said the angel of death- in case you wondered my name is crystal meth. stronger than you have tried me and lost- are you ready to pay what this is going to cost? this is a warning,believe what i say, for all that you have is what you will pay. your body,your mind,your heart and your soul- each and every one i will control. your values,your morals,your body,your pride- each and every one will be cast by the side. you will lie,you will cheat,you will con,you will steal. doesnt this sound like a wonderful deal? just gimme a try--come on, let me in. spark up that lighter and we can begin. this long downward spiral only ends in three ways- jail,death,or a zombie, for the rest of your days. but dont worry, i wont do these things to JUST you- but your children,your parents,and all your friends too. see, its not just you that is going to pay. i will make them all suffer every single day. i destroy families,siblings,husbands and wifes- on a roller coaster to hell for the rest of their lives. in case you were wondering,let me tell you the score- you use meth you'll suffer,but those that love you suffer more. so if you think you can handle, then give me a ride- i'll use you till theres nothing left,then cast you aside. cause no matter the horror that i put you through- i know there will be others that come after you. so many more souls for me to consume ! so many lives i'll continue to doom. so just look around, look and you'll see- nothing on earth is stronger than me. my name is evil,my name is death, my name is satan-MY NAME IS CRYSTAL METH .....
2 years and it was all gone...
thats all it took--2 years of her doing meth, and everything that we had- our house ( foreclosed ), 2 brand new cars ( repossesed ), $62,328.16 in the bank ( spent ), 3 joint credit cards ( maxed at the atm ) and worst of all a 7 year relationship- was all gone. i didnt leave her because i wanted to, i left her because i had to for my own self preservation and sanity. where is she now? who knows. and 15 years later i am still struggling to finish paying off those debts because of her. theres a REASON the adds say "not even once", because once is too much and a million is not enough....once someone does meth, they are FOREVER changed. no one comes back from it all the way. no one. if someone you love is doing meth, cut all ties,walk away now and dont ever look back--that person you loved is dead and gone, only the meth zombie remains. you cant save them--you can only save yourself. the hardest thing to do is to walk away from someone you love not because you want to, but because you NEED too...ask me how i know. the list goes like this--debbie.rita.susie.val.peggy. lost them all to meth. i hate meth more than anything in the world.
I was living in a small island in Hawaii. That island was the most known meth users out of the Hawaiian islands I always told myself I would never do meth. I would see my cousin smoking and they would show it to me. I was already having trouble and one day I just decided I didn't care. My cousin showed me a meth glass pipe, then she started telling me about all these things about it. I didn't care so I tried it. After that I started smoking more and more liking that rush. I wouldn't eat and would stay up all night to party. I started losing so much weight and didn't even look like myself. I went from being 100 to 60 pounds. I would steal money from my grandparents and trade my things just to get my drug. I would sneak out in the middle of the night just to find the drug. I would travel to the other side of the island just to meet someone who would give me the drug or just to smoke. I would smoke anywhere, in the bathroom at shopping malls or my school. I became violent and was always irritated. I even got my boyfriend to smoke with me but unlike me, he was alot stronger and never got addicted. I started realizing that it was taking over me. I got help from my friends and family. I finally had the strength to stay away from meth. Iv'e been clean for almost a year now and I'm very proud of myself.
No Love From My Mom
My mom was on meth and other drugs ever since I was 4 years old. She never spends time with me and I wish she would. She will always go out and come back high. My Mom and Dad will fight and yell at each other. When I was 10 years old she left me and my dad for 6 years. Now I live with my Dad and step Mom and they always say I’m going to end up like her. I’ve done drugs but not meth. That my story to you. -Christina M.P.
I began using out of curiousity. My boyfriend,his friends and their girlfriends all did it.I was the only one who didnt so I always felt like I wasnt on the same level. It always seemed like they were always more outgoing and had a lot more energy than I.Well one morning I was getting ready to do laundry and noticed my boyfriends pipe had fallen out of his jeans pocket.I began thinking to myself, i should take a hit just to see how Id feel hoping I wouldnt have a bad trip.I didnt seem to feel anything so I took another, and another.I finally told myself, ok so when am I gonna feel the affect. Anyways, I told my boyfriend I found his pipe in the dirty laundry and went to give it back to him. He looked at it then looked at me in a strange way. Then he noticed the puddle was less than what it had earlier.I told him I dont know what happened to it. Well surprisingly he figured he musta thought wrong. Boy was I relieved. I remember that night, I could not sleep. I didnt know why, I got up at 2 am and went to wash my car not thinking it wasnt normal. We got into a big argument and he said "why are you acting like youre all high, what you took somr hits off the pipe didnt you?" I couldnt lie so i said i was curious so i meant to take just one but didnt frrl shit so i took two more. To my surprise he just laughed and said come on ill turn you on. We were smoking practically every day.Also had the greatest sex ever. As the months went by we started having financial problems.We were behind on the rent and barely had enough to pay the biils. My borrowed mpney from my parents for the rent but instead we bought 2 balls and thought we could make the money back.Yeah right. My boyfriend gave his friend the money up front coz he had to get it from someone else.The guy returned with 1 ball and said wed have to wait to get the other one.We figured oh okay. So we smoked about a half gram since wed still be able to make the money back because we were still waiting for the other ball. After waiting most of the night we called his friend and found out he got arrested for burglery.We got nothing and didnt have enough to make the money for the rent.We ended up behind on the rent and eventually lost the place.to make matters worst, he lost his job cause he got caught smoking on the job.There was no way I could support the two of us on my income especially now that we were both smoking. Everything seemed to be getting worse, a lot of our arguments were all about dope and he started getting abusive with me. He ended up screwing around so we broke up.A few months later I found out he was in prison for assault and burglery.Even though we broke up, i still kept smoking and I knew he wold be too.
I Didn't Even Know
It started with a random meeting. A chance encounter with a beautiful boy. I wasn't used to any attention from guys but he noticed me. We began talking and really hit it off. He would call me every night and talk about anything and everything. Especially the stars, we both loved the stars. His laugh was the best part. He was always laughing and it lit up his whole face. It was on of those laughs you read about, that makes their eyes sparkle and makes the room brighter and makes you feel lighter. We saw each other several times, my favorite is when we watched Boondocks Saints and just laid on the couch together. I had never felt more peaceful and happy than I felt in that moment. He was gentle and beautiful and kind. The next day was very different. Out of the blue he told me that it wasn't going to work out between us. He told me that he had things he needed to sort out in his life. He asked if we could stay friends. I was absolutely crushed, broken. I threw the offer in his face, saying I didn't want to talk to him. Three weeks passed, and every once in awhile I would get the urge to say "Hi", but my pride and aching heart didn't let me. In January I heard the news. He had died. He had been in recovery for a meth addiction, relapsed, and died. I didn't even know. I had absolutely no idea until that moment that he was on meth. He really did have things going on in his life and he just didn't want to get me involved in them. There are no words to truly describe the feeling at hearing that news. A deep aching emptiness that you dry to drown with tears. An open wound in your chest. A sea of regret and unfounded guilt. I threw his friendship away and I wasn't there. He was sick with this terrible addiction and that took him away from me and stole his life. It has been almost five months and I cannot honestly tell you that I am alright. I don't sleep well and my thoughts turn to him when I am alone. I constantly feel like I am on the verge of tears. They always teach us in school that these meth addicts are scary, crazy people who have oozing scabs all over their bodies and would kill you for your pocket money. That may be true in some cases, but they don't tell you about the meth addict who is in recovery and relapses. Who seems whole and healthy. Whose laugh can make you fall in love. They don't tell you about the hole that get ripped in your chest when they die. About the regret and guilt and longing. I was never prepared for this. I just want him back.